love

What’s Your Number? Double Standards

Is this a conversation people still have in the beginning of their relationships?

The other day a good friend of mine and I had a conversation regarding sexual partners. He was very clear on what he feels is an acceptable number of partners for a woman. “If she can’t count the number of partners she has had on her hands it’s time to move on.”

This very thought to me is a Double Standard. Men can have as many partners and be viewed as “the man”. A woman on the other hand is viewed as a hoe if her number goes over the “acceptable” amount.

A conversation should be had around your sexual health not around the number of individual sexual partners? Sexual health is very important when starting a new relationship. More than we would like to admit, we enter someone’s bed without knowing their sexual health.

When meeting someone new don’t be afraid to ask questions, just make sure you are asking the right questions.

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Dating him all over again… Starting from the beginning.

We were separated for 6 months and recently started dating again. When I say date I mean date. He calls me, takes me out,  and we talk. We both really care about each other but as I told him, I’m protecting myself.
We were together for 5 years and he cheated on me. Yep he cheated on me.  As I told him, I’m not trying to get back what we had because obviously something wasn’t right.
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Over the past month I’ve been feeling a little closer to him. I know I want to be with him, but the fear of it all is driving me crazy.

For right now we are just going to take it one day at a time.

Should we live together before marriage?

When in a relationship how important is it before taking the step to marriage that you live together? A few days ago, this was the topic of discussion between me and a friend. He argued that you don’t really know a person until you live with them, so therefore it is important to live with your significant other before marriage. My BF and I have been together for 2 year and things are looking serious. Is this something I should be considering?

ADVICE

I grew up in an old fashion home; living together was not an option before marriage. Now in my own relationship headed towards the alter, I have forged my own opinion.

Marriage is a serious topic; living together should not be the test you need to pass before you decide to marry. If you are considering marriage think about the following questions:

  1. Have you met his family? Do they like you or you them?
  2. Are your finances in order and can you talk about them?
  3. Can you stand to look at them after an argument?
  4. Does he/she respect you?
  5. Can he/she be your one and only?
  6. How supportive are you of each other?
  7. Can you live with all their habits and character traits?
  8. Is the intimacy lifelong good?
  9. Do they provide you with the space needed?
  10. Do you want children and if so how many?

Don’t get me wrong; moving into together is also a serious commitment. When deciding to take this step you should view the other person as someone you are committed to and not someone you want to help pay the bills.

Dating Someone with Kids…Worth it?

It’s hard to find someone now a days without a child, so dating someone with a child has become a topic of discussion. Personally I’ve dating 3 people with children and had a different experiences each time. In each relationship I was faced with a new challenge.

In my first relationship TIME became an issue. The person I was dating had a great relationship with the mother of his child, which should always be the case. This strong relationship however started coming between us. It could’ve been me but I always felt there was more going on between them. I found myself fighting for his attention which should never be the case in any relationship. In the end we decided we would just be friends and he is currently working things out with the mother of his child.

I should’ve known my next relationship was not going to make it when he didn’t inform me he had a child. He then got mad at me for not being happy when he casually mentioned it was his sons 1st birthday. HONESTY is a pillar in any relationship. After 6 months of no communication, he and I are now friends.

My last relationship was the hardest. My partner and I were together for 1.5 years. She had a beautiful daughter I cared very much about. During the first year everything was perfect. Her daughter and I got along very well and besides almost losing her in McDonalds everything was good. When we started going through our rough patch that’s when things got a little COMPLICATED. We ended up breaking up on pretty bad terms and I lost a relationship with a girl I had grown attached to. After 2 years my ex and I are on ok terms but my relationship with her daughter is nonexistent.

Not all relationship will turn out like mine.  Although my experiences haven’t turned out the way I’d
hoped, I’m still open to dating someone with a child. Every bad experience prepares you for a new experience.